The Voice in my bimbo head :)

So in addition to my OUTER bimbo work, like my completion of the 30 day squat challenge (Yeah baby!!! :), my aneros progasm jr training, my anal bleaching program, my bimbo diet (low carbs, lots of yummy protein, vit supplements), my current 30 day ab challenge (day 15, already did my 70 situps, 95 crunches, 42 leg lifts, 60 second plank, while day dreaming about the bimbo belly of my dreams!!! omg can’t wait! looking forward to when i’m doing 125 situps!

wait, where was I again? got lost in the dreams of my future ๐Ÿ™‚ lol oh yeah, so there’s the INSIDE bimbofication work. you know what I mean? like okay, just sit back and think to yourself, something simple, like, what comes next after 249 on day 30 of the 30 day squat challenge? yes, good job, you’re right, 250! BUT, what was the sound of your voice when you answered it? was it deep and husky? cause um yeah, that’s no good. Even if it was just like normal guy sounding, still no good. or if it was kinda gay boi sounding? well that’s better, but yeah. or all sopranoed out fake femme voice? even better. But you know what would sound even better? The voice of a bimbo in your head. The voice of a young, hot, super sexy girl! You KNOW you want it in your head like all the time, even when you’re thinking of things besides your fetishes. You know, just like when you’re doing laundry or something, and you start thinking about how you really want to exercise, or when you’re all hungry and start thinking about how you crave like a salad or maybe some lowfat greek yogurt? wouldn’t it be AWESOME to have the voice in your head match your bimbo desires?

well Goddess and I were kinda talking about that. and Goddess being the perfect exhibition of benevolence and the absolute best at bimbofication came up with the idea of like doing snippets as mp3’s that She will record, in HER voice, but that I (and other bimbo wannabes) can listen to on loop to kinda like perfect our internal voices, to make them more like Goddess’s, like the hot sexy voice we NEED to hear all the time, more and more! So since She knows that getting a perfect sexy ass is like one of my primary bimbo goals (and lets face it, the goal of any aspiring bimbo), She focused Her first recording on that, the motivation behind getting the perfect ass. I have to say, She just released it like 2 days ago, but I must have already looped it like I dunno, 200 times or so!!! it is soooo awesome getting Her voice in my head like more and more. I hesitate to say that it’s like a bimbo voice in my head, cause it’s Goddess Lindsay’s voice, and She is by no measure a bimbo! BUT… She is hot and sexy, and Her voice is the embodiment and epitome of hot-girlness to which bimbo’s aspire. More and more I find myself thinking in Her voice. I think it would be awesome if there were like an army of bimbo’s running around who were all like essentially clones of Goddess Lindsay in how we think!!!
dat-ass2

So yeah, She also is like going to make more recordings. about other things She thinks bimbos should think about. Her bimbos! which i’m guessing will include stuff like how to think about HER, as well as how to think about boys and clothes and food and fashion and sluttiness and well all the things bimbos should think about!

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perfection of bimbofication

my bimbofication story
so I’ve been kinda doing the bimbo transformation fetish thing for like a few years now. I mean, I guess it kinda evolved from like my earlier sissy, humiliation, and porn fetishes. Like a fetish for dressing and looking like a girl, a fetish for having hot girls tell you what to do and laugh at you, and a fetish for seeing super hot large breasted girls trying to get people off has morphed into wanting to dress and look and act and talk like a super-slutty girl who other people tell what to do and make fun of, basically a brainless bubbly nympho! you know a term that’s used to describe a brainless bubbly nympho? I mean, the letters are all there! just try saying it on repeat like really really fast! haha, yeah, you wind up just saying bimbo!!! lol. now repeat bimbo like really really fast!!!

okay, now stop! so were you like actually just saying bimbo really really fast just now? haha, well if you were, then perfect!!! you’re on your way! cause I was too, and I know i’m on my way! haha, Goddess Lindsay tells me so at least…

so yeah like where was I? oh yeah, I was just saying how awesome it is that I kinda like morphed into the bimbo fetish from all my previous fetishes. but it wasn’t until I found Goddess Lindsay that it really started to like click, ya know? like, i’d go like in and out, like be all obsessed with a bimbo here or a bimbo there, wanna be all like her, but then i’d get bored, or i’d go back to like my guy stuff, football or whatever. there wasn’t like any reason to stay motivated on it, which I guess was like the problem. so i’d be all into acting and talking like a bimbo and then I dunno, I just wouldn’t.

anyway, so enter Goddess Lindsay, right? to say She is like a cut above is like way understatement, ya know? previous ladies who I experienced bimbo transformation sessions were much more like just, in the moment, having me say and think and act like a bimbo. but then when the session was over, like, k, what now, guess i’ll be all manly again. or my version of manly, lol

But with Goddess? totally diff. I mean, what She says sticks with me, well after W/we talk. I mean, first of all, Her voice is like golden, like I soooo want to hear Her voice in my head like 24/7! so even after we hang up or whatever i’m constantly remembering the convo and everything She said, just like trying to hear more of Her voice in my head… and She says stuff that really stick with me and like keep me working on my bimbo stuff long after the call. I mean, She really has me developing bimbo habits that can kinda like take root and take over the other habits that I used to have.

so like, how does one develop a new habit? I mean, it’s one thing to do something while your in the thralls of sexual arousal. I mean, lets face it, even for a proper bimbo, for whom sexual arousal is like the end all be all, there are moments when the sexual arousal like kinda dips and there are other things to kinda like focus on? I mean, like, maybe a bimbo will stop thinking about hard cocks and big tits for like 2 minutes to think about like cotton candy or a pair of platform heels. times like that, you hafta have the right habits to keep you on the bimbo path. but its one thing to want to develop those habits, its another thing to actually like get them.

So Goddess Lindsay does like a couple of things. She put forth like a GOAL for me to work with. I mean, so step back just for a sec. I mean, i’m not in like a place or time in my life when I can just bimbo it up ALL the time, with how I dress and stuff. I am in a LTR with a chick that is decidedly NOT on the “twink should become a bimbo” train. so like, I can’t be showing up with 36 DD’s and long blonde hair extensions. Not yet at least, lol. No, I go for the more mental side of things. but some physical. Like, my ass. I mean, who is really looking at my ass, cepting I decide to shove it in their face? well, so maybe I can get like the perfect looking ass at least, right? a porn star ass! with a bleached ass hole, and nice round cheeks that would look awesome in skin tight wet-look leggings. So that when I took them off and some hot guy with a long hard cock saw me, he would just beg to fuck my pristine little bimbo ass hole. now that would be awesome. I can’t deny it. neither can you. so Goddess Lindsay has me on a regiment to like bleach my asshole, get it waxed regularly (its decidedly inexpensive, and even though it hurts, totally worth it), exercise it frequently (30 day squat challenge anyone, lol), and even stimulate it frequently with my aneros junior progasm!

So anyway, that was like my initial goal, and I have been spending tons of time thinking about it, working for it, developing pride in it! I love bimbofying my ass. so anyway, when like Goddess is not around or something, the habits are like self-fulfilling, I continue to work on it and think about it. so let’s say I’ve been hard at work, and then I have some time to kill. what do you think I do? I mean, revert back to my old man habits of watching football? or do something even more fun and like log on and check out pilates and yoga moves to increase my ass strength? or hop onto tumblr and check out pics of hot porn stars whose ass I want mine so desperately to look like? I mean, my old desires don’t like just disappear, there’s still like a little man in me who likes to watch football. so even if I turn it on, I perk up more for things like the cheerleaders and their cute skirts and their nice hair and wondering how long it takes them to do their makeup on game days and how awesome their makeup artists must be that they can like last through the 4th quarter!

anyway, so yeah, Goddess has been putting more carrots out there for me to have as goals and develop pride in. like my bimbo diet – lots of protein and green veggies, not a lot of carbs ๐Ÿ™‚ the 30 day ab challenge (day 12 today!) just ways for me to really get going with my bimbofication. like I said above, like when I’ve done something good, like finish a new blog post or helped Goddess in some other way (haha, She gives me sexcretarial duties sometimes, yay!) i’ll like just tumblr out for a while. All the pretty girls who I want to look like, all the hot boys I wanna hang out with, all the stripper fashion and sparkly jewelry, all the sissy captions. Especially luv Goddess’ new tumblr and all the captions She’s putting up, like this one :

practice makes perfect sissy!

practice makes perfect sissy!

Anywhore, so yeah after all those years in the game of bimbo transformation, it took me finding Goddess Lindsay to find out the right way to do it. Haha, the Goddess Lindsay way! It’s definitely taking over my mind more and more, and it feels so right, just like thinking like a bimbo, trying to fit more and more bimbo stuff into my daily life, getting all sexually aroused like all the time, looking up to all the pretty slutty girls. Haha, I mean, like, not that I used to be a strip club guy, but now I want to go just to check out the stripper fashion, like the heels and the fishnets and stuff. sure, i’d tip em a dollar so I could see the tag of their panties to find out where I needa be shopping, lol anyway, i’m just like doing mental twirls constantly, staying all bubbly and stuff in my head, more and more, like no turning back now, ya know? #bimbo4life!!! lol

Bimbotivation

So like when you start something new and it’s in the beginning stages and the effort levels are super high and the results are pretty modest, motivation becomes and issue, ya know? Like, oh yeah, when the energy levels are all like super high and everything it’s easy to go ‘omg I’m gonna be like the best bimbo ever! An empty headed sex crazed life of getting people, hot boys and girls alike, horny and everything, and being dressed all sexy and getting off with other hotties, yeah that’s the life for me!!!’ Lol but then something like ticks you off, or your sex levels are low cause you’ve been cumming a lot, or you wake up one morning just not feeling it? Well yah it can be hard. You start thinking, what’s the point? You let your bimbo activities slide, cheat on your diet, your exercises, your porn watching, your masturbating…

There are probably like a bunch of reasons for this. One of them is the person you’ve been your whole life before you started bimbofying. I mean years of habits and behaviors and thought patters and opinions. I mean, not like I’m a psychotologist or anything, but even I know these don’t just disappear overnight just cause you decide you wanna bimbofy. And I mean, if you have like majorly nonbimbo habits, like that lead you to be all fat or flabby or supersmart or assertive or demanding or masculine (haha, yah, no doubt super masculine). Where was I, oh yeah, if you have nonbimbo habits or whatever, they can really derail you. I’m not saying like omg you can just wish em away. It will take some time to slowly start to change em, by developing strong bimbo habits, and coping skills for when you slide back to your prebimbo self and finding the balance such that there is a steady progression. The goal is to transform to a bimbo, to go from 1 step forward, 2 steps back to 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 2 steps forward again…

Well there’s a few things you can do. Just tricks that are working for me, maybe they’ll work for you.
1 – get a badass awesome Mistress to serve. I’d highly recommend Goddess Lindsay in case you hadn’t guessed, lol. Trust me, it helps to have someone telling you what to do, giving you ideas, giving you standards to live up to. But, as motivating as Goddess Lindsay is, She can’t be there whispering in my ear 24/7 about what to do and when to do it. And I mean, if I completely break out of all the guidelines She puts out there, She would no doubt find me much less than satisfying. I have to maintain a level of motivation on my own in order for Her to push me further. But still, serving a Mistress who is willing to take charge of bimbo transformation is far and away rule number 1.

2 – prioritize some bimbo mini goals. Like me? I started out with getting my ass in shape ( like duh, read my next post if u wanna know more). Bleaching was something I did every day for a while. I’d slip the occasional night, but then afterwards felt kinda guilty about it. For letting down my aspiring bimbohood.

3 – do some fun bimbo stuff every day. Like for me it’s tumblr. Just to like kill time or whatever. Instead of checking sports scores or reading the news. I mean, I still do those sometimes, but more and more it’s like just scrolling through my tumblr (my dash chock full of bimbo blogs of course, but also sissification, lingerie, hot guy, celeb, and barbies as well!) and reblogging, to fill out 5 or 15 (or an hour, lol) breaks between shit to do.

4 – work on your bod daily. I’m still struggling with my diet. But I’ve added a protein shake and vitamin supplement religiously, and I’ve worked through the 30 day squat challenge, and am now doing the 30 day Ab challenge! On day 4, which is a rest day, so I get to spend some time working on my ass, which is awesome!

5 – fake it til you make it – you may be feeling down, you may be feeling low, you may be feeling like a pathetic dude. But no one has to know. Type in a chirpy bubbly way. Drop in likes and totallys. Hearts. Lol’s. giggles. Whether you’re in a good mood or bad mood, keep the bubbly bimbo talk coming. No one wants to talk to a depressed sounding bimbo. And who doesn’t love cute sounding bimbos. Everyone loves a heart filled email! If you’re not feeling the bimbo attitude, just act like you are.

6 – think of yourself as part of the bimbo crowd. You may be shy, or feel like you’re not up to par. It’s okay, you’re part of the bimbo lifestyle. You may not be as bimbo as others, but that just gives you room for improvement. Give props to other bimbos. If you feel jealous, it’s okay,just use it as bimbotivation!

7 – Bimbo4life! It’s the new bimbotra! We’ll leave mantras to others. Our bimbotra is bimbo4life! Lol

whatever poppers up

so, I was traveling recently. staying in a hotel room with nary a responsibility to anyone but Goddess Lindsay. which gave Her stimulation to kinda further broaden my horizons. I mean, not that She needs it. this trip was post buying my aneros progasm jr and Hitachi wand. She had previously suggested I try to find some good silicone based lube to use with my aneros, but I hadn’t gotten around to it, so I was still using the water based lube I had ordered from aneros.

Well lo and behold if I didn’t find a kickass sex shop not 3 blocks from the convention center. so I went and found some lube, which was actually Goddess’s go-to lube, and I contacted Her all proud of myself. I mean, how should I put this, i’ve been in sex shops before, but this one in particularly was adorned, right next to its name, with a large rainbow flag lol so while I’ve been in a sex shop or 4 in my time I’ve never before been in one of that, um, persuasion. but damned if I wasn’t going to get that lube at the first available opportunity.

Goddess found this pretty amusing, but it also led to Her suggesting I try something new. Any guesses dear blog reader? lol, well, based on the title you might have guessed poppers. cause I didn’t make that title in reference to popcorn poppers, lol now I’ve HEARD of poppers before, but damned if I know much about them. She was like, you don’t have to, by if you want to…. lol, when She makes a suggestion I always want to! anyway, as you might expect from a loyal follower and devotee of Goddess Lindsay, I have read Her blog posts again and again. I mean, the way She puts stuff makes you just wanna like devour every morsel of what She writes again and again ๐Ÿ™‚ like I immediately remembered the post Goddess Updates In particular this quote:

“Silly sissies and sluts indulging in poppers lately. Itโ€™s clear the use of poppers just makes their brains weak, little dicks hard and ready to suck REAL cocks. Iโ€™ve been enjoying taking those little tarts further down the rabbit hole, keeping them humiliated, tortured and full of debauchery.”

I was thinking, yeah, those silly sissies and slut are lucky! but at the same time, like, there was a tiny bit of skepticism about what the poppers could do. but I got some info from Goddess Lindsay about them, and the last day of the conference managed to make it back to the rainbow sexshop and grab some poppers. I mean, I was surprised how non-uncomfortable I was walking into a gay sex shop and asking for poppers. something about getting instructions from Goddess Lindsay is, I dunno, invigorating or something. just gives me a little of the backbone that my own independent male persona lacks. Haha, leave it to the Emasculation Mistress Herself to finally give me some balls, lol

anyway, so I bought the poppers and get back to my hotel later and call up Goddess, and She starts to talk me through it, testing their effects on me. and during this She says something like, “if you thought you were addicted to Me before, after doing poppers you’ll REALLY be addicted to Me.” I was like, yeah, hope so, without really knowing if I believed it.

well, I am here to report, it is TRUE! I tried the poppers and got ever more addicted. well, poppers while I had an aneros jr. in and a hitachi wand and a cock ring (also bought from the sex shop) and some liquor in me, and Goddess Lindsay on the phone. pics of Goddess up on my ipad. The combined effect was like an immense sexual charge. beyond. like I just wanted it to go on and on. Her voice amps everything. like to the nth power! and somehow the poppers also amped everything. so they like worked in synergy. mmmm, i’m getting all worked up now thinking about it. at any rate, yeah, i’m more addicted to Goddess Lindsay than ever! i’m like, wow, She introduced me to those poppers and was She ever right, my brain got sooooo weak for Her!

unfortunately I hadda toss the rest of the poppers before my flight. I mean, it’s flammable and I aint taking a chance of getting called out for terroristic materials. lol the size of the bottle couldn’t burn a cigar size hole in the seats, but just in case.ย  lemme just say you should take her up on it if She ever suggests it. She knows how to use poppers to make Her sissies and sluts more weak and pliable and addicted to Her than ever. omgggggg!!!!!!

so, the moral of the story is, of course, follow Goddess Lindsay, do poppers, get addicted!!! lol

Anal Fixation

So if it seems like I have a LOT to say about my ass? Damn straight! I bust my ass for my ass. So I’m proud of it. Get more proud of it every day. And every day I have Goddess Lindsay to thank, for providing the inspiration and motivation to get my ass better and better. I mean, before Goddess Lindsay I was just some dude with an intermittent feminization fetish, wandering from one substandard phone sex”princess” to another. Sometimes we’d talk about panties, or cocksucking, or getting mani-pedis or whatever. But it was always like, yeah,exciting while we talk, maybe for a little while after, but then boredom or guilt or distraction or some combination would set in,and I’d be back to square one. Just like a constant cycle.

But Goddess Lindsay gave me a goal, a practical and central goal of self-improvement, and helps with the achievement of that goal, namely the upgrade of my ass. With suggestions to improve it cosmetically and physically, inside and out. Lol. And with each step forward I get a feeling of pride. There’s no better feeling, really. And so it has served to break the cycle of one step forward, one step back. Just from now on, ever onward.

So – outside – there’s the bleaching. The waxing. Smooth and pink! For the at home bleach, they say you need to apply anywhere from a week to a month to see optimal results. It took me a month and then some. but I had more pigment contrast then most. Anyway, there’s not much better use for $50 than anal bleach. And the waxing is fucking awesome, at least for me. I live in NYC, and there’s a salon that will wax your butt strip fairly cheapo, and the girls are nice and treat me all girly, I think they think i’m gay or something. lol and afterwards it feels as smooth as glass. It does hurt a bit. not gonna lie. totally worth it though.

Physically – there’s the 30-day squat challenge. Day 25 today, already got my 220 in bitches!!! I definitely feel it toning and shaping my little ass. Hopefully soon the muscles start growing a bit, so my ass gets bigger and wider and looks awesome in a pair of tight jeans!

And internally? haha, that’s the aneros. i’m on a progasm jr. right now. I totally recommend it. like, knowing what I know now, if I didn’t have one? yeah, I would buy one right this very fucking second!!! I lied about the use of $50 for the anal cream. very good use, but the progasm is even better. Ideally, invest the whole $100 in your ass. Starting today. but if you wanna do the installment plan? I recommend starting with the progasm jr. Goddess hasn’t been focusing too much on the internal muscle strengthening lately for my training. But She has definitely alluded to the fact, often, that I need to increase my internal muscles, with like kegels and stuff with the progasm jr. inside. I’m kinda small, so She took it easy on me by starting with the progasm jr., but She has already said, in time, i’ll be graduating to the big boy progasm ๐Ÿ™‚ yeah, I want to have a real nice ass, I mean not tight, but able to clench down tight, you know? and by the way, omg, the progasm jr feels AWESOME inside! omg omg omg talk about a prostate hug. and with a hitachi wand vibing on it? just like wow, the whole body.

But I digress, lol, I was talking about anal improvements, not anal getting off. haha, sometimes I can’t help myself, my enthusiasm gets away from me, lol

so yeah, i’m all anally fixated. it has really helped in my progression. as opposed to the cycle. it’s replaced guilt with pride. it enhances everything. it allows branching out into different areas too (pubic hair trimming, anyone? lol)

Yeah, it’s pretty much PERFECT. just like Goddess Lindsay. You’d almost think She planned it this way (haha, hint, She did! lol)

oh, and one last think, this isn’t very twinkess-ish, but tis the season… Go Buckeyes, Go Ravens!

Motivation unlimited

one of the lesser known and little discussedย perks of servitude is the motivation! take for instance my performance in the 30 day squat challenge. So Goddess Lindsay tells me, “I think you should do the 30 day squat challenge, to work on that porn star ass goal.” I didn’t even have to think about it, I just started doing it. But as we all know, with exercise and so many other things, the initial motivation often recedes into the background, especially as things rev up or get monotonous. Motivation recession is the scourge of every diet, exercise plan, self-improvement goal, etc. Well, with proper servitude and the right Goddess (meaning, of course, only Goddess Lindsay), such recession is not an issue.

So like today, I hopped up for day 21 of the 30 day squat challenge. 180 fucking squats. in a row. yesterday was a rest day (which I used to go for a nice grueling run in which I incorporated hill sprints, also great for ass muscle building, but I digress). anyway, so Saturday, 2 days ago, I had gotten up to 160. Now, I had been ready to quit at 120, but I kept going. of course. Goddess Lindsay wants me to do the squat challenge, I do the fucking squat challenge.

So anyway, today, I went even higher, to 180. I mean, at 60 you’re like, wow, i’m only 1/3 of the way through. Pretty soon you’re counting by tens, like 110, 11/18’s of the way through. but you just keep going. cause Goddess Lindsay said to. There IS no better motivation, long or short term, than the instructions of Goddess! Especially long term. changes into my exercise habits, thought patterns, the way I talk, all these continue to progress, in a way I could never achieve on my own. My motivation would have receded a thousand times without Goddess Lindsay. And the key point, as well, is to not question or resist the changes She suggests. To accept Her word as gospel. With it I achieve so much more than I would trying to do stuff on my own.

and i’m sure after the challenge (9 more days!!!) i’ll be given other things to do; I can only hope. I am but a weak male, who graciously, and with great gratitude, accepts any instructions given by the Goddess. I am lucky to be in Her service. without it, I would be weak and adrift. but in serving Her, I have direction, purpose, motivation… unlimited ๐Ÿ™‚

 

what’s in a name?

early on in my interactions with Goddess Lindsay, She thought I sounded exactly like a 19 year old twink. okay, so She still does, lol. She also knew, before I knew enough to articulate it, that it is like my fondest wish in life to pretty much be exactly like Her. I know, preposterous, right? lol

But being as She is benevolent and has a wicked sense of humor and q playful sense of creativity, She indulged me in a way that She found amusing as well, and dubbed me with the nomme “twinkess” like twinkess as opposed to goddess or princess, lol

I dunno, it’s just a perfectly elegant off-hand example of Her creativity with combining my fetishes of sissification and humiliation. I mean, She mixes it up, calls me ALL kinds of little emasculating names (one new one? nino feminino, lol), no one note wonder is Goddess Lindsay, of course. Unlike a lot of phone sex bitches (a term which emphatically does NOT apply to Goddess, She actually comes up with new stuff, original trends, combinations. I mean, I’ve been doing the fetish p.s. thing for like ever. I get bored with same ol’, same ol’. not so with Goddess, She keeps everything fresh, all the while seemingly effortlessly staying one step (at least, more like 12 steps (no pun intended, haha, I’ll get to those addiction metaphors in a later post, lol)) ahead of me at all times

so yeah, without my intention, I’ve become the completely devoted submissive slave to Goddess. it’s no longer a question of whether I’ll get bored. I’m just hoping She doesn’t get bored with me! She definitely keeps me on my toes, inspires me to try my best to impress Her.

So anyway, to answer the Q i started the post with, in my little nomme twinkess (which She usually shortens to twink anyway, but uses twinkess more as like a title thing) is a bit of Goddess affection (TWIRL in delight!!!), humiliation, delineation of my role, exhibition of Her creativity and originality, expression of my own devotion to Her. and an inspiration. i mean, i want to freaking EARN that nickname, be the best twinkess i can be ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ i mean, if i can’t be a beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sexy Goddess like Lindsay, i can be Her devoted twinkess!